Four Seconds

Peter Bregman

In Four Seconds, Bregman shows how a deep breath of four seconds allows us to think twice about our counter-productive habits and create results we want. Stress leads to self-sabotage. The book explains how to create habits that will connect with others and to optimize our work habits. 

Pause, Breathe and Identify an Area of Focus

People tend to respond to stress in a self-destructive manner which makes them unproductive. We can transform this behaviour into good habits that will save time and energy. The first step is pausing and breathing for four seconds. This will put us in a state that will allow us to make better decisions and think of the outcome before taking action. Along with this, identify an area of focus instead of a goal. Goal setting brings in a tendency to demotivate us or cajoles us to take unnecessary risks while an area of focus motivates us.

Prepare for Process than the Solution

Failing to prepare ahead for the day will result in a waste of time. To prepare for the unexpected, focus on the process rather than the solution. It is impossible to be prepared with a solution for an unpredictable event. The following three steps will help to decide if you are in an unfamiliar situation.

First, pause and breathe in and out for four seconds and think.
Second, assess the option by asking yourself whether you will get the desired outcome. Finally, make a decision and stick to it.

Focus on the Content to Improve Communication

To be a better communicator, focus on the content more than the tone or body language. Another way to improve communication is to stop arguing. Arguing is an attempt at getting the upper hand. Even if you see some flaws, you will not admit it if you are in an argument. Instead of arguing, an important tactic is listening. It does not threaten the other person. They will feel heard and in turn they will listen to you. So stop arguing and start listening instead.

Alter Your Expectations to Strengthen Your Relationships

It is common to be taken aback by what people say or do. The problem might not be the other but our habit of expecting too much from others. No one is a carbon-copy of you. So you cannot expect people to be as you wish. Treat people how you wish to be treated.  Appreciate others for what you love in them. Instead of giving gifts, express in person how much you appreciate them for what they are. This will make them feel respected and loved which will strengthen your relationship.

Accept Failure and Share Success

One must have the opportunity to fail for learning. Learning is recognizing when you have failed and adjusting accordingly. Learn from the mistake and improve. Also, share your success to optimize your work habits. Knowing that you have contributed to the work is motivating which will help to work more effectively. 

Neutralize Negativity and Accept Criticism

People act negatively from time to time. Holding onto negative thoughts will not bring the best results. There are ways to fight negativity. Never respond to anyone’s negativity. They might think that you are contradicting their emotions, making them hold on to negativity even more. Show your understanding of the person’s negative emotions. If you had a similar experience, tell them. Focus on what the person is positive about. Accepting criticism can promote positivity in the workplace. Consider criticism as a gift. If you feel angry or hurt, accept and put them on one side. Focus on the content. Take a neutral stance and listen. Think for a while before making a decision.

Bad habits can weaken their grip on you within four seconds. Deep breaths will help to collect your thoughts and act accordingly. Focus on the content than the delivery, turn negativity into something positive. Appreciate others for their commitment and contribution.

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