7 Habits of Highly Effective People – Stephen R. Covey

Stephen Covey recognised two methods of self-improvement:

• Personality Ethic– Acquire the skills necessary for desired behaviour. But this is just an alternative to actually changing your problematic traits for the long-run.
• Character Ethic– Work on your fundamental character out of which lasting changes can happen.

To help you achieve your desired life, focus on the following habits:

• BE PROACTIVE: The quality that differentiates us from animals is the ability to choose how we react to external stimuli. We can think over the situation and respond accordingly. Despite this power, many people still choose to let external influences affect their judgment. One can choose to see either the positive or the negative side in a situation.
  

The difference between the two attitudes can be seen in the given figure:

The outer circle, the Circle of Concern, consists of everything people cannot change but keep worrying about. The inner circle, the Circle of Influence, represents things that can be controlled. Next time you find yourself in a rut, stop and think about your reaction to the problem.

• BEGIN WITH AN END: Set out on your task with a clear end in mind. Plan the things you want to do to prevent unneeded hassles in the future. The more clearly your path is drawn, the easier your journey becomes. So, take time for visualisation. But if you visualise goals that you have no passion for then, there is no point in the exercise.

Understand what you are striving towards. One way to achieve this is by writing a personal mission statement. This is your personal standard and can be used to measure everything in your life. Deep introspection is required because this is a document that sorts your priorities and gives you direction.

• PRIORITISE: Remember the simple saying: ‘First Things First.’ Important tasks should be done first, and the rest can be delegated for later.
                    
• 1ST QUADRANT: Important + Urgent 🡪 emergencies that need to be the top priority
• 2nd QUADRANT: Important + Not Urgent 🡪mission statement, building relationships
• 3rd QUADRANT: Urgent+ Not Important 🡪 phone calls while working on a project
• 4th QUADRANT: Not Urgent + Not Important 🡪 things that are a waste of time.

The most important is the 2nd quadrant as it positively affects your life. But most people tend to focus on other quadrants while not recognising its importance.

• THINK WIN-WIN: Some people see every social interaction as a competition and see only two possible outcomes: Win and Lose.  This creates an unhealthy division among people. They are blind to a win-win situation where everyone can be benefitted. This kind of positive outlook strengthens relationships and maximises output. Communication becomes key as well as persistent negotiation and an open mind to understand the other person’s side of the story.

‘A relationship is sort of like an emotional bank account.’ A deposit of time and effort will result in a healthy balance. Other deposits include being courteous and keeping your word. A withdrawal that imbalances the relationship will be not caring about other’s feelings and always looking for a win-lose situation. If you do make a withdrawal, don’t be afraid to apologise. It shows the strength of character to accept mistakes.

• FIRST SEEK TO UNDERSTAND, THEN TO BE UNDERSTOOD: Remember that communication is a two-way street. You need to first listen properly to react accordingly. Please don’t project your own feelings and thoughts when others talk about their problems. Sometimes all people need is a non-judgmental ear that listens. Cultivate the habit of Empathic Listening. You don’t need to possess all the answers; your effort to understand might be all they need. According to experts:
  

Therefore, don’t just focus on the words. Instead, tune into their body language and state of mind. The results are worth the efforts as people will be more willing to open up to you.

• SYNERGISE:  Synergy refers to the sum of the contributions of many being greater than their individual contributions. The true power of synergy lies in recognising where each individual’s strengths and weaknesses lie and using this as a blueprint for teamwork. Inspiring a team to work and listen to each other improves interpersonal relationships and helps them to collaborate on problems. Two heads are better than one.

SHARPEN THE SAW: It is admirable to work hard but don’t forget to give yourself a break. It would be best if you stayed sharp by taking care of your physical and mental health. Pray, meditate, read, whatever works for you. Nourish yourself with the adequate headspace and time to heal mentally, socially, spiritually and physically. Find your happy place and write down what these activities are and pick one as the goal for a week and self-evaluate.

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