To Overcome Challenges, Stop Comparing with Others

Most of our lives, we have been measured and compared to the achievements of other people. It could be based on our height or weight when we were children, and based on our strength and speed as we grew older. The test scores from schools, salaries and job performances are often the benchmark in determining an individual’s growth and talent. These factors were used to measure you against your peers and colleagues. Don’t be swayed by these personal averages, instead develop them as a tool to sharpen your focus into you, not with respect to others. The life story of a wheelchair athlete Dean Furness will inspire you to redefine your ‘personal average.’ 

Have you heard your parents or relatives say, to be successful like someone else? Well, don’t pay heed to what they say because to bring change, start looking into yourself. It was an unwelcome tragic accident that changed the life of Dean Furness. A 2011 December evening was the turning point of his life. He got onto his tractor after feeding his horse, when a five foot tall 700 pound of hay fell over him, crushing him. This unfortunate incident damaged his T5 and T6 vertebrae and he could never walk again. It not only paralyzed his body, but also his mind. His strength, height, weight and mobility that he took pride of didn’t matter anymore. His personal average was reset, turning his strong suits into his weaknesses. He started comparing his past with his present situation. When he measured the things he could do before his accident to the ones after, he was a failure. To move forward it is important to let go of your past and embrace your present, to change your future. It was the realization that every haunting memory and frustration has to be put aside to start a new beginning, made Dean Furness an achiever.

It is said that the road to success is not a bed of roses, only those who pursue with determination amidst the pitfalls can smell success. After shifting to a specialty spinal cord rehab hospital, Dean realized that his situation was much worse than his peers. The new experience taught him that he can’t compare himself, neither to his past self nor to other people in similar condition. That moment became his defining moment to identify his true self and what he wanted to do in life. It took nearly six weeks to prime his mind to this reality. When you are in troubling situations, think it over and motivate yourself to overcome that. You might encounter good and bad situations in your life. The binaries good and bad don’t exist until you are willing to change the context to redefine your personal average. Dean realized that even though he dealt with unhappy instances, he never had a bad day in his life. So, the power to decide resides within us. The mentality to observe only the positive side of everything will rewrite your life. Do you feel low when you burn your dinner or when a business meeting didn’t go well as planned? Be quick to move on and don’t let such petty issues ruin your day. Measure the pleasant happenings in your life and your personal average will slowly increase.

It was a marathon that changed Dean’s life. His physical therapist mentioned that he should do a half marathon in his wheelchair. He constantly worked for that goal, trying to improve his personal average each day. When he finished the race, he was a new man with a renewed purpose for his life. Walking again was never on his list again, instead he aimed higher on what he could do being in his wheelchair. Dean researched and prepared for the 2017 Chicago Marathon in his own way. In the week of the race, he attended a Wheelers meeting with 60 people in wheelchairs participating in the marathon. There were Paralympic medalists, the people who Dean had researched, basically, the best of the world gathered in that room. Again he felt himself falling into the pit of comparing himself with others. Then he realised that nobody cared about his average, everything was about completing the race, and he won. In the seventh marathon conducted in Chicago he was able to finish the race 30 miles per second faster than his prior races. This was the result of striving continuously to improve his personal average.

Dean Furness teaches us that it’s not all about racing, but it is always trying to be a better version of yourself. Each one of us encounter challenges in our day to day lives, which may be visible or not. Try to shift the focus into you, and understand your wants and needs, because then you will accomplish great things. 

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